Story Outline and character designs

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This is what my story looks like so far. I'm trying to set it up like a Saturday morning cartoon, a bit outlandish and a bit comedic, but still getting a point across.



These are some of the better drawings I have made over. I am considering redoing the scientist one to make it more basic but keeping the overall style.


Comments

  1. tutorphil27 March 2018 at 14:32

    Hey Ollie - okay, so my instincts here are that you need to strike the right balance between entertainment and information. As I read this script (which is pretty elaborate - too elaborate?) I began to lose sight of the facts within the metaphor. I'm wondering if you need the villain etc or rather the full story? It's true of superhero tropes that we often have montage scenes of the team coming together - and I wonder if you thought of you animation as more of a 'trailer' or 'opening' - so we get each character introduced by 'Trailer man' and this guy is also teaching us the facts. I think it would be more do-able if you treated it this way - just some references for how you can treat ensembles more succinctly and without so much plot...

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acOnskcyrtA
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcGNqrAtsgg
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhMr4hBwWGw
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHnsMKQJBDA
    also (and this is a spoof of the above obviously... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Otaq2tmNMM&t=13s)

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  2. Jackie27 March 2018 at 15:16

    Hi Ollie!
    Yes, I agree with Phil... I can't help feeling that the story as it stands here, is more like a year-long major project! Don't lose sight of the end goal - you are going to be taking this right through to the end product this time, so all the animation and post production, on top of the pre-production stages you got to last time. At the moment, you have multiple environments, 4 characters and a fair amount of dialogue, which will call for either lip-syncing or voice-over...
    I also feel that the education element is being overshaddowed (excuse the pun!) by the action, and educating your audience is the goal, right?
    BUT...on a plus note - the images look better, now that you are cropping out the edges! :)
    Keep going!

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