OGR 2
OGR 2 by Ollie Thacker on Scribd
Premise Script V1- Draft
Premise Script v1 by Ollie Thacker on Scribd This is the first iteration of the story for my premise project. At first I thought I would do a story based on making gold, as that was the action my character was doing in my Character Design project. However I thought a pilot episode where the character makes his sidekick character. I'm also considering writing the gold making episode as an additional episode. The reason why is because I'd like to do my project as a pitch in order to get this show made into a real tv show. I definitely know there are some things that need changing, especially since this is the first draft of this script. Also I'm hoping that the writing of the script will help me come up with a name for the show, something which I am struggling with at the moment.
OGR 23/11/2017
ReplyDeleteHey Ollie,
You've got a really strong expressionist vibe going on in this image - the overall result is somehow disturbing - and very post-ww1 European! This is due to the colouring, the distortion, those Caligari-esque windows and doors, and those spidery benches. It looks very depressing in your city - this isn't a criticism - it's just a very strong feeling created by your choices. Are you aware of this impression? What would your collaborator think? Have you captured something important to her, or have you created this mood by accident? I'd be interested to know.
I don't know if you ignored/explored my previous feedback about reconsidering your approach to designing all the sundries (the doors and windows etc) and I'd still observe that I think it unlikely that your collaborator would be as wedded to squares and rectangles as you appear to be. In truth, I don't dislike the net result of your choices, but are you on brief if the challenge is to work as closely and sympathetically as possible with your artist?
In terms of your proposed matte painting - it doesn't make a whole lot of sense that you'd be matte painting the floor plane; a matte painting would never be used in this way to 'save time' - when it would likely be more efficient to model the floor plane, as opposed to giving that same time to trying to blend your digital set with the lighting and shadows of a 2D floor plane. I suggest you reconsider your to-do list and use the matte painting to extend the background of your set.
In terms of your production art and orthographs; you're lacking a level of detail as it relates to fabrication and materiality - i.e. what are your assets made from and how are they constructed? At the moment you've got a lot of nondescript shading that doesn't convey how the facades of your various buildings are built (cladding, tiles, modular elements) and this is as true of all the windows and doors etc. At the moment, I'm still looking at 'drawings made of Photoshop' as opposed to 'designs made of substances, textures and details and parts'. You need to commit to this level of thinking, because it will be these little elements that will help you make decisions in Maya and really sell your final image.
So - you've achieved something here, Ollie - but I will be asking you to help me understand how/why you and your collaborator have envisioned somewhere so dystopian and 'un-nature', and I do want you to give more thought to the design and accenting of your assets - or you risk modelling a bunch of beige featureless elements.