OGR "Script to Screen"
OGR 1 S2S by Ollie Thacker on Scribd
Premise Script V1- Draft
Premise Script v1 by Ollie Thacker on Scribd This is the first iteration of the story for my premise project. At first I thought I would do a story based on making gold, as that was the action my character was doing in my Character Design project. However I thought a pilot episode where the character makes his sidekick character. I'm also considering writing the gold making episode as an additional episode. The reason why is because I'd like to do my project as a pitch in order to get this show made into a real tv show. I definitely know there are some things that need changing, especially since this is the first draft of this script. Also I'm hoping that the writing of the script will help me come up with a name for the show, something which I am struggling with at the moment.
OGR 26/01/18
ReplyDeleteHey Ollie,
Okay - so... I think this is a good example of one of those scenarios wherein it's questionable how much active use is being made of the various elements; for example, I don't think there is any inevitable relationship between the figure skater and his role in the zoo - for example, if the figure-skater was being asked to get involved because he was a figure-skater (i.e. because the job required specific skills on ice) then it would make more sense. Right now, the zoo itself is not important as a space or site because we could swap it out and say 'laboratory and animal tests' or 'library and tests on librarians' and your story would not change at all. I'd suggest it's a bit generic for these reasons and all your components still feel very separate.
I'm just going to knock some ideas around here:
The obvious shift is to 'non-humanise' your scenario and maybe try a touch of the Ratatouille approach - i.e. think of the least likely animal in a zoo you might consider suitable as a figure-skater and tell their story. I'm also thinking penguins might be a fun choice as potential protagonists, which would make good integrated use of both your zoo and your ice-based figure-skater prompts. In terms of the briefcase itself, you could still be telling a story about bribes, secret plans or whatever, but in a non-human universe.
'Rivals' is always a good engine for generating stories - 2 rival figure-skating penguins and a bomb in a brief-case?! With your figure-skater prompt you get competitiveness and a sort of natural finale structure if you want it...
So - my instincts are that a non-human slant might yield much much more to you - in terms of character design and in terms of generating some more creative responses. What do you think?
I think I put my reply in the wrong bit..
DeleteOk. I've had a little think about this and I have come up with another idea along the idea of non-humanising my story. I'm thinking there's a big zoo, lots of animals, and they have formed a society/government (or perhaps several, grouped by diet, where they came from or species) which runs the zoo, or rather their world as they see it. Then there is this big announcement that they will be getting a new attraction, ice skating penguins (their act is sort of like the whale shows, where the trainer goes through a routine in a stadium like part of the zoo). The other animals get jealous of the new act and either arrange for them to be killed, ordering a hitman/hitanimal(?) to come and take them out (bringing a briefcase with their weapon of choice which they would put together like those scenes where the hitman puts his gun together on a rooftop), or they break into the offices and change around some documents so that the act leave sooner than they should or get taken away some how.
ReplyDeleteThis was just something I had come up with last night and thought about a bit more while at work today.
Let me know what you think.
Hey Ollie - okay, I'm thinking you've got a fun Tonya Harding riff getting started here... (and that's a good thing!)
Deletehttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tonya_Harding
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXZQ5DfSAAc
I wonder if you even need the additional stuff about the other animals - it could be as simple as Penguins in zoo - we meet an exiting long-time inhabitant of the ice habitat who is a glam, gorgeous figure-skating Penguin beloved by human visitors and the mascot for the whole zoo... enter a new penguin, a rival, who is also a super-duper figure skating penguin (and maybe a younger one too!) - That's ACT 1 set-up - ACT 2 is there growing rivalry in their bid for the audience's attention - and ACT 3 involves a dastardly plan... the thing with these types of stories is that they have a lovely sense of escalation, but often too an ending that is somehow unexpected or where we see the jealous character coming undone as a kind of karma punishment... just in terms of fun 'escalation/rivalry' based shorts, check Pixar's One Man Band and Presto.