OGR 2
[Scribd isn't letting me upload my drawings, Will try again later(07/02/18)]
Storyboards 1 by Ollie Thacker on Scribd
Storyboards 1 by Ollie Thacker on Scribd
Zoo Showdown by Ollie Thacker on Scribd
Premise Script V1- Draft
Premise Script v1 by Ollie Thacker on Scribd This is the first iteration of the story for my premise project. At first I thought I would do a story based on making gold, as that was the action my character was doing in my Character Design project. However I thought a pilot episode where the character makes his sidekick character. I'm also considering writing the gold making episode as an additional episode. The reason why is because I'd like to do my project as a pitch in order to get this show made into a real tv show. I definitely know there are some things that need changing, especially since this is the first draft of this script. Also I'm hoping that the writing of the script will help me come up with a name for the show, something which I am struggling with at the moment.
OGR 09/02/2018
ReplyDeleteHi Ollie - so, you've got a workable story here, though the briefcase is largely irrelevant here. It could be a skateboard or a teatray or an ironing board for all it contributes to the molecules of the story. I suspect there's just a small conceptual adjustment you could make to really use it as a proactive and specific element, but time is ticking and you have a huge amount to do. I like the happy ending actually - the origin story of an unlikely double-act - sweet.
There are three issues you'll need to deal with between now and submission: the first is your script is not a script - it's a series of headings and then some prose telling us what's happening, but not then unpacking that action into types of shot etc. One of the learning outcomes we'd like you to come out with is some experience in formatting your screen direction in accordance with the proper conventions. You appear to have struggled a bit with Adobe Story (and why we need to know this in your script document is anyone's guess; imagine that you were to write 'I struggled to use Word' at the top of your CV or a job application and you'll perhaps see how daft this looks to the rest of us...). You'll need to actually 'write' your script - and this process will help you move onto your storyboards. The storyboards you've presented here I'm assuming to be for your benefit (getting it out and getting it down) and not yet ready for the attention of others. I found it very difficult to follow. Again - one of the outcomes we're looking for from students is a storyboard that shows you've learned the conventions of storyboarding and applied them dynamically to the directing of your own script.
As a student with limited experience of drawing, it's no small challenge to take on a story idea populated by a stunt fox and a figure-skating penguin! What this means is you're going to have to work really hard at getting better at drawing and thinking creatively about designing characters in advance of modelling them in 3D - you won't have to model them this time obviously, but we expecting you to present them (and this understand them) accordingly. My advice is to stylise boldly, so go fun and cartoony and bipedal, so...
https://s3.envato.com/files/150746708/Cartoon%20Penguin%20FF%20p.jpg
https://s3.envato.com/files/200906976/Cartoon%20FoxD%20p.jpg
We're looking for this level of understanding of your characters in terms of expressing them as model sheets, so...
http://www.iamag.co/features/itsart/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/cover-simpsons.jpg
http://conceptartempire.com/images/wparchive/model-sheets/02-two-stupid-dogs-model-sheet.jpg
Because of the madcap scenario - I also suggest you look to the likes of the Loony Tunes canon in terms of thinking about your approach to the environment work - the zoo etc:
http://markinternational.info/data/out/112/219574025-looney-tunes-backgrounds.jpg
Notice how it's chunks of flat colour, with line art to finesse the detail. I'd like to see you 'not' drawing Ollie - but working with the drawing tools in Illustrator and/or Photoshop to create some work. I don't think you drawing with a pencil is going to move you on far enough or quick enough.
Just as an aside - on myUCA in the FSTS folder, there are script resources (example scripts to help guide you in terms of setting our your own) and also loads of practical guides to character design, animal and human anatomy and so on. You've also had those primary classes with Justin in terms of shapes and structure. I am expecting to see some of this input making a difference to your output, Ollie.