Premise OGR
Premise OGR by Ollie Thacker on Scribd
Premise Script V1- Draft
Premise Script v1 by Ollie Thacker on Scribd This is the first iteration of the story for my premise project. At first I thought I would do a story based on making gold, as that was the action my character was doing in my Character Design project. However I thought a pilot episode where the character makes his sidekick character. I'm also considering writing the gold making episode as an additional episode. The reason why is because I'd like to do my project as a pitch in order to get this show made into a real tv show. I definitely know there are some things that need changing, especially since this is the first draft of this script. Also I'm hoping that the writing of the script will help me come up with a name for the show, something which I am struggling with at the moment.
Ollie – If there is one trait in your work that is emerging above all others it is ‘lack of effort’. Sorry to put that as the first thing in your feedback but I am disappointed by this (barely an...) OGR. Likewise, I can see the same problem in your title credits submission (I will give you feedback for that later). Unfortunately, you haven’t given me much more to talk about in this feedback, we’ve discussed this idea multiple times, we know it’s a good idea, it has professional/commercial precedent (Trap Door etc), its based upon your own character design project, and it’s something you seem enthusiastic about in conversations. All great except there is no practical progress. Ollie, the ball is firmly on your side of the court in terms what to do next to fulfil the potential of this project – It has a lot of potential too. If you are struggling about what to do then please come and see me and we’ll discuss solutions. If not, all I can add is that this project won’t make itself. It’s time to go to work Ollie and not make lists about working (last page).
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