@Alan Minor- Proposed new story- Internet book idea
Outline of story:
- Simon is told to research Merlin while Mary goes out. The book containing the information is left on Simon's desk by Mary
- Simon heads into the library to use the internet book in order to find everything on Merlin
- The book's assistant, Ribb, help Simon search for things
- Simon goes off topic, looking up things he sees in the articles (similar way as to how wikipedia lets you go to different pages when you look through a page)
- Simon opens more tabs/duplicates the book in order to look at more information
- Starts getting popups (paper shoots out of the book with the ad on, or ads literally pop up like a pop up book)
- Simon picks up and reads a pop up, it starts to spread more ads (like a computer virus)
- While this is happening, Mary is buying things in the market
- Ads start to open their own tabs
- Book 'crashes', ad papers and books freeze in midair, bluescreen
- Mary comes back, sees what happens
- Does the magical equivalent of CTRL+ALT+DELETE and 'reboots' the book
- Asks why Simon was using the internet book when all the info was in the book on his desk, Simon says its just easier using the internet book
- Mary shows Simon the book on Merlin, that contains all the relevant and correct information on Merlin, as opposed to the internet book being inaccurate
- Simon sits down at his desk and starts reading
Hi Ollie - You might want to start with a 'boring task' instead of reasearch. Such as 'write an essay about Merlin'. Then Simon 'turn's to the book (Google) for answers before getting distracted by adverts etc. There needs to be more details (logic steps/consequences/therefore's for the story too. Things seem to be matter of fact currently. More causality and description is required. For example, you need more ‘adjoining/descriptive’ words like….
ReplyDelete“Just when the room couldn’t be any fuller, the Book 'crashes'. Ad papers and books freeze in mid-air, then ‘bluescreen!’ (describe what this looks like in your world), as Mary enters the room.”
I have tweaked the story to have more logical steps and an ending….
Outline of story:
- Simon is asked to write an essay about Merlin while Mary is out.
- Mary leaves a ‘book of knowledge’ on Simon's desk.
- Simon opens the book and attempts to find everything he can on Merlin
- The book's audio assistant, Ribb, helps Simon search for things
- Slowly, Simon goes off topic, looking up things he sees in the articles.
- Soon he is enjoying looking up more and more fun things. Opening an increasing amount of ‘tabs’ (duplicate books).
- Simon is far off-track now, his searches becoming increasingly more dubious. ‘Popups’ (paper shoots out of the book with the ad on, or ads pop up like a pop up book) start flying into the air shouting/asking for all sorts of things.
- Simon tries to close the pop up’s, they duplicate and spread to more ads (like a computer virus)
- Ads start to open their own tabs, those tabs open more tabs. Simon can’t control the situation.
- Then? – You need a crisis point here
- Cut to Mary. She is happily buying things at the market, blissfully unaware of the chaos in hr classroom.
- Then? – Cut back to an even bigger crisis (escalation of events)
- More escalation…
- Just when the room couldn’t be any fuller and Simon is cowering at his desk, overwhelmed, the Book 'crashes' (a bluescreen). Ad papers and books freeze in midair.
- What is Simon going to do?
- Mary enters the room. She reviews what has happened
- Mary looks at Simon. He slumps back in his chair in shame.
- Mary uses the ‘reset spell’ (a magical equivalent of CTRL+ALT+DELETE) and 'reboots' the book
- Mary shows Simon the ‘page’ on Merlin, that contains all the relevant and correct information.
- Simon sits down at his desk and starts writing.
- Mary turns to put her purchases away.
- Simon pulls a miniature book (phone) from his pocket and flick through the pages. He starts searching for info. A pop-up appears. Here we go again, Simon didn’t learn.
- An angry ‘pop up’ flies towards the screen. The story ends.